I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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