"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
