Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
