I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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