I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
