I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
