next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
