the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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