So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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