so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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