I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
