In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
