i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
