Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
