I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
