i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Randomize
