I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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