Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
