just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
