Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
