Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
