i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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