Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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