Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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