I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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