Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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