I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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