He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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