He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
