he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
