singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
