dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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