Tell her she can't have a vagina
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
