i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
