Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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