I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
