she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
