My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
