yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
