We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
