This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
