Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
