you win again, gameday.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
