im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
