Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
