So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
