He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this boner is exhausting
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
