butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Two words: blizzard sex
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
