I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
