Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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